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Remember when we were bedazzling our bodies and yes, our vaginas too? The thought of gluing jewels to my skin was both ridiculous and unnecessary.

After all, as women, we should stop trying to make up our vaginas. They are already beautiful. I’m not saying go wild child here either. If you enjoy your Brazilian bikini wax or keep yourself otherwise well groomed, you go girl! But dressing your vagina up is just silly.

Well, thanks to a Japanese company called BoDiva, you can ignore the advice of a wise woman and go full jeweled with a Beachtail. I’m rolling my eyes right now if you can’t tell. The Beachtail is a metal and rhinestone necklace for, yep you guessed it, your crotch. The Beachtail clips to the crotch of your bikini bottoms or panties and is most often displayed from the rear on your butt. 
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The metal chains dangle several inches down and are jeweled with rhinestone tears drops. I’m dropping real tears at this point. It’s sort of funny and sad at the same time, and I’m still confused as to why anyone would want jewels dangling from their nether parts.

But even if I’m completely clueless about the next hot thing to happen in ladies vagina fashion, here are a few more reasons why you should reconsider these jewels. First off, you now have a piece of hard jewelry dangling from your bikini bottoms and heaven like you if it gets yanked or pulled on by accident. 

Sure, it’s not attached to you but a sudden tug or pull in any direction can rub against your sensitive skin, or your bikini bottoms will boomerang the metal and jeweled tears back into your flesh. If you have plans on hitting the beach with this get-up, you’ll also face potential burns. 

Jewelry is made of metal and metal gets hot in the sun. Sitting on your skin for hours and baking away can leave behind some pretty painful burns.

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Even with my naysaying and warnings against the dangers of dressing up your jewel with jewels ladies are still going to jump on this trend. 

I just hope it doesn’t last long. There is no reason to jazz up your vagina. It is beautiful the way it is!