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Some of us are intense. We feel feelings in ways that are so profoundly strong that many people criticize us and exclaim, “you’re just too much for me.”
When people tell you how intense you are, you are potentially opening the door to a shut down on yourself. This is dangerous for your ego, your real sense of self, but why?
You might wonder why controlling your hot mess self when you get upset or angry is a bad thing. You might think it’s better to keep all that under control and not feel it at all. Well, yes and no. Yes, it benefits others and lets them stay comfortable around you. However, the problem is, when you suppress your high-intensity sadness and anger you also suppress your high-intensity joy and spark. There’s no switch for just one feeling; you’re all connected to the main line.
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You can interpret that as an open invitation to be a hot mess on wheels if you want, but that’s not going to make being around you much fun for all those people who can’t handle you. So how can you be yourself?
The solution isn’t an easy one, but with practice, you can manage it well and master it later. You already know how to feel, but it’s the reaction to your feelings that you need to consider. Some days, when I’m hurting bad, only people who know me well enough can see the visible signs of heartache.
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I wear a mask or rather, a hat. Each hat has a purpose and when I don it, I know I have certain responsibilities. The feelings still exist, but the hat prevents manifestation. Oh sure, you might argue this is suppression, but I’m not stopping the feelings. I’m just not acting on them.
The energy from all those feelings still needs to go somewhere though. When I’m done with those people, I throw that hat off and find my Tribe. Your Tribe is a group, usually a few people, who are intense like you and love you for who you are. They respect your feelings while keeping you calm. They are the people who truly know who you are.
The world doesn’t need to know, and most of the time doesn’t deserve to know, who you are. Your ego belongs to you. Your Tribe loves you and your real version. Find your Tribe and be yourself with them.